Holy Land: Hills of Bethlehem

June 22

    Today I cherished my last sunrise swim in the Sea of Galilee. I thanked God for the little big things of this trip. I know it is a contradiction, but swimming for sunrise was a little thing in and of itself but swimming for sunrise in the Sea of Galilee is quite a big thing. What I experience or do may be considered small but in the context of where I am, it is quite the opposite- hence, the little big things. It was also my roommates birthday! She celebrates today and I celebrate tomorrow. We figured this out after they paired us as roommates. It is nice to be able to share the experience with someone else on the trip. I didn't want to say goodbye to the sea but in that moment I made it my resolve that I would be back to the Holy Lands, no matter what the cost. 

    Our first stop of the day was Cana. At a wedding feast in Cana Jesus performed His first miracle. He changed water into wine at the request of His mother (Jn 2:1-11). Growing up I did not see this as a 'big' miracle but after learning about its significance, it turned into one of my favorites. (I also have a taste for wine now as well so Jesus wine sounds divine to me.) Starting with this miracle shows how He wants to be identified. Supplying wine is the job of the bridegroom so by performing this miracle He revealed himself to be the true bridegroom. The Church is His bride. He wants that intimate love and oneness with each of us.In the church, an original vat for wine is present. We got to actually see the object in which the first miracle took place! Once again I was humbled that God called me to bask in His glory. This miracle  reiterates the importance of Mother Mary in our lives. Without her, Jesus would have not performed the miracle. It was through her intercession that He started His ministry. He stated that His "hour has not come" knowing full well that when He starts, His end will be on Calvary. He did it anyway for the love of His mother and for us. We can ask for her to intercede on our behalf to her son. It is like asking a friend to pray for you, but your friend is the Mother of God. I couldn't think of a better person to ask. 

    In the chapel at Cana, couples were able to renew their wedding vows. I think most people teared up on how beautiful it was. Some day I hope to travel back to the Holy Lands with my future spouse and be able to do the same. All I have to do is to find him first. Upon leaving we created a human tunnel down the streets and the married people ran through it. Our group happens to do things at 110% or as the kids call it these days a "full send". The joy and laughter coming from the married couples rang through the streets. These couples are truly a testament in the world of God's love. 

    The next stop was the Basilica of the Annunciation in Nazareth. This was the first time traveling to Nazareth. I closed my eyes and pictured Jesus as a child running through these streets. I wondered what it was like as a Catholic growing up in the streets of Nazareth. Do they have that wonder and awe, knowing that the Savior of the world grew up here too? I know it would not be a gut punch everyday like I experienced today but I imagine it would be more like a hum of holiness that permeates through the air and into your soul. As an outsider I felt the holiness of the streets and was in constant awe of my surroundings. Jesus walked with me and welcomed me once again to His home. 

 The basilica itself was magnificent. There were icons of Mary from artists all over the world. The upper body of the church was unfinished to give it an air of poverty. During mass all I could think about was Mary's "yes" that changed the course of humanity. A lowly teenage girl bore the Son of God. In this place her 'yes' gave life to not only to Jesus but to us as well. After the consecration of the Eucharist I was reflecting on the gift of Him being present physically in US, like He was physically present in Mary. She was without sin and carried Him into this world, but by the grace of God, we sinners carry Him physically with us, every time we receive the Eucharist.  It is because of this teenage girl that I get to encounter my Savior every time I go to mass. In today's society being a mother is seen as a set back for females. Children "inhibit" us from reaching our true potential. That is the lie they tell us. We as females can actively bring life into the world. The world would cease to exist without mothers. How beautiful is that gift that is given just to women! I long for the day that I will bring children into the world. I know that God is taking this time to mold me so that through me and my family, the world will know Him better. 

    After mass we went up to Joseph's church. Underneath the church are the ruins of the foundation of the Holy Family's home. St. Joseph has a special place in my heart because I have taken him as a spiritual father. I pray to him not only for protection but also for a holy spouse. Through his quiet example I have learned what true manhood looks like. This fully human man protected, nurtured and cared for the Blessed Virgin and Jesus. He played with Jesus. He taught Jesus. How crazy would it be to raise the Son of God? God chose a lowly man to complete a great task.  That's God's forte. He chooses people with humble beginnings to complete His greatest tasks. I love this. No matter how small you feel, God sees you and if you let Him, He will do great things through you. 

    We went back to the lower part of the basilica, where there was an altar at the spot of the Annunciation (Mt 1:18-19 ). Here I prayed the rosary but instead of all the Joyful mysteries, Jason encouraged us to pray and meditate on the Annunciation for all five decades. I asked Mary to put on my heart how she wanted me to see this moment. She gave me her joy, humility, awe, acceptance and her love for the child growing within her. Each of these feelings filled me during prayer. Sometimes I take Mary for granted because I have living female role models of faith. I feel as though I can look to them instead for guidance.  I also know that I can never measure up to her, so why try to emulate her? This place changed that in me. Jesus gave her to all of us as a mother, so why would I deny His wishes? Why would I not want to be like Mary? A hard reality I have to face is that part of me wants to be of the world. I want to fit into society and not stand out. Well He called me to be in the world and not of the world, so Mary, can you help this girl be more like you? 

    Our next stop was Mount Precipice. It is believed to be the spot where the people almost threw Jesus over a cliff because His teachings were hard to accept. (Lk 4:29-30) The phrase that was put on my heart was "they hated me first". As I looked over the vast valleys I knew that because of my faith, anywhere I go there will be hatred towards me. Throughout the world the Church continues to be persecuted but I take solace in the fact that the world hated Him first. We are walking with Him through all of this. 

    The final leg of the journey was a two hour bus drive to Bethlehem. Joseph brought a pregnant Mary that far to be counted in the census. Being here puts into perspective the distances traveled throughout the Bible. I am in awe of how much walking was accomplished back in the day. I am also in awe of how many places that I thought were figurative were actually literal. For example on the drive we stopped in the Valley of the Shadow of Death. (Ps 23) I thought it was a figurative place but nope. It was the road between Jericho and Jerusalem but it was riddled with robbers. A creek runs through the bottom so when travelers went to get water, the robbers would pounce, like the parable of the good Samaritan (Lk 10:25-37) . This was not on the itinerary but thanks to the graciousness of Akrum and Hani we were able to see it. Near the bottom of the valley there was a Greek Orthodox monastery carved from rock of the cliffs. It was beautiful. Time didn't allow for the hike to the bottom but it was on all of our minds. On the drive we also got to see the golden hour lighting the city of Jerusalem. The city was carved out of limestone, so the whole thing glowed. I could not wait to go into the big city but that will come later in the week. Tomorrow we explore Bethlehem! 

June 23

    Rise and Shine and Happy Birthday at 0300! I tried to go back to sleep and I even accomplished a whole rosary in the process. God had other plans so I went and sat on my balcony, which by the way, overlooked the city of Bethlehem. First light came and the sky was vibrantly colored like a rainbow. This was God's way of celebrating my birthday with just Him. Again it was a little thing to see the sunrise on my birthday, but in Bethlehem, the place of my SAVIOR'S birth, is quite a big thing.  Our first stop of the day was a store that sold religious items that were crafted in the Holy Lands by the Christians living here. This was a great way to give back to the people that keep the faith alive in the holiest of places. The owner of the shop, Shibly, had an original dead sea scroll jar in the shop. His grandfather had found it along with other artifacts. Some had been stolen by the government but by the grace of God they overlooked this one. He also had other artifacts such as oil lamps and tear jars. The tears of women were the most precious things so through her life she would collect them and give them to her father. Then once she married, he gave them to her spouse. All of us women were laughing because we would need the size of the vat from Canna to hold our tears in, not some tiny jar. It was quite beautiful though. After shopping we went to the Church of the Nativity. 

    Walking in, you had to bow through the Door of Humility to remind you that God also humbled Himself to become fully human. The body of the church was beautiful and ornately decorated and is an active Greek orthodox church. There were remnants of beautiful mosaics on the upper walls and under the flooring. During the Persian invasion many Catholic churches were destroyed but those that came to the nativity saw the mosaics of the wise men and thought it was a place to worship Persian kings, so they left it alone.  This is another proof that God has a sense of humor. We traveled down into the Cave of the Nativity, where it is believed that Jesus was born (Lk 2:1-7).  It was taught that Jesus was born in a stable but historically speaking the stable area was actually in caves under the buildings. This put a whole new perspective on my view of the nativity scene. Walking down, you could feel the holiness pulsating from the site. There is a 14 point silver star over the site of His birth, representing the 14 generations from Abraham to King David, King David to Babylonian exile, exile to Jesus. As I laid a kiss upon the star, I heard Jesus say "Happy Birthday and welcome home." Words cannot describe the feeling of that moment. He orchestrated this whole trip so that I could spend my birthday at the place of His birth. Jason told me that this trip had been cancelled twice before and the days were slightly shifted from previous itineraries. It was truly all His doing for that moment. In the cave there is also the site of the manger. It is truly the first place of adoration of Jesus. We did not get nearly enough time down there but we had much more to see. Off to the side of the big church is the Catholic Church that Christmas Eve mass is celebrated in. There is also the Tomb of the Innocents where we commemorate the infants who died in massacre ordained by King Herod. There was a beautiful icon with Jesus collecting all the children in His arms. I thought of the children aborted around the world, especially in the United States, all gathered up in His arms. 

    Another stop before lunch was Chapel of the Milk Grotto of Our Lady. Since Jesus was born under an inn, He would have been weaned in a more permanent place. It was also the place the Holy Family took refuge during the Massacre of the Innocents before fleeing to Egypt.  It is believed that a drop of breast milk fell from Mary and turned the whole cave white. In part of the cave, there was a chapel for continual adoration. The monstrance was gold and depicted Mary holding the child Jesus, with the consecrated host as the face of Jesus. This reiterates the reality that the Eucharist is the true body of Christ! I love it! 

    Lunch was at a restaurant that overlooked the hills of Bethlehem. It was quite breathtaking. At one point the server came up to our table and had Claire and I follow him to the back with two of the guys on the trip. We dressed up in traditional Arabic clothing and paraded out to the tables. To say the least I was embarrassed. The boys were yucking it up and after some coercion we tried to dance the dance we learned on the boat.  Thankfully that didn't take too long because it was time to go to mass. Mass was in a cave at Shepherd's Field. This is where the angels announced to the shepherds the birth of Jesus (Lk 2:8-19).  There was another chapel on the property that had beautiful acoustics. We sang Christmas carols and the sounds reverberated throughout. We actually had a few people on the trip that had beautiful voices, so it really was something to behold. I feel a deep sense of joy when people give glory to God through song, whether they can carry a tune or not. A few times we forgot the lyrics but quickly recovered with a different song. While singing "Angels We Have Heard on High", I could imagine the angels in that field singing for the shepherds and calling them to praise the new born king. The planned portion of the day was done but we were given the opportunity to sit down and eat a meal at a local Christian family's home.  Select International Tours have a foundation that gives back to the Christians in the Holy Lands. One of the programs is Sharing the Bread, which through a goodwill donation we are able to pay for our meal but also help out the family. It also supports a home for disabled children, that is run by nuns and aided with volunteers. God touched my heart and said "I told you 'welcome home'. Here is your way." My stomach dropped while my heart leaped. How was I going to move to a different country? How long could I volunteer? How would I support myself? Is it safe? These and many more questions raced through my brain but God calmed them. Be still. I knew that the feelings at the beginning of the week of being at peace and at home were leading up to this moment. I was coming back! I will have to iron out the details but God asked me to jump so I will. 

    Back to the present. Carolina, one of the women on the trip had a beautiful rainbow shawl from Jerusalem. I told her that I loved it and explained my stance on recl iming the rainbow.  We discussed the ability to share a meal with a local family and she shared her hesitation. For me sharing a prepared meal with people showed the love that is shared at the table. I have fond memories of family dinners at home but she did not. I just asked her to keep an open mind and no matter what the conversation is at the table remember that we are family because we are all children of God.  We realized that we were in the same group and I knew God used that rainbow to spark a conversation where He could reach out to her in a different form of familial love. We packed into the car with our host and his 4 year old daughter. She did not know any English, only Arabic. I asked her father how to say hello and he told me "marhaba". It  translates to "God loves you". I found that to be a beautiful way to greet people. The look on the little girl's face when I said it made everyone including her smile. The small act of kindness by greeting or thanking people in their native language can make all the difference in building a relationship. When we got to the house we were introduced to his wife, two boys, parents and aunt. They made us homemade mint lemonade with ingredients from the garden. I wish I could remember the name of the food we ate, but  one thing I do know, it was delicious! We connected through shared beliefs and met them in their hopes and challenges. Near the end of the night they brought us coffee and then came in singing with a birthday cake. I was humbled and nearly cried. Out of their poverty they got me a birthday cake. It truly is a testament of God's love in their hearts. I really felt like I was surrounded by family, even though I was thousands of miles away from my own. God is so good! Sadly the evening ended and we had to say goodbye.

    After arriving back at the hotel I caught up with Shibly in the lobby. I told him of the calling that God put on my heart to come back and work. He is actually looking to start a medical outreach with the foundation so God is truly making a way. I got his contact information and I will be using that as soon as I get home from this pilgrimage. All in all, God blessed me with the best birthday and I don't think any other celebrations will top it. 

June 24

    I love starting my day with prayer, coffee and the sunrise.  There is a quiet hour of the morning where no one is up but for me. Claire joins me for sunrise but the first part of my morning is just Him and I. I am able to reflect on the day prior and also read the gospel accounts of the day. Today we started with Pater Noster Church. The cave under the structure commemorates where Jesus taught His disciples how to pray (Mt 6:5-14). His prayer was revolutionary because it started by addressing God as "Our Father". Never in history would Jewish person even think to call God, father. It was blasphemous. At that moment Jesus gave us the means to do so. He opened the door to a filial relationship with God. That is why we are all called sons and daughters of God. It was not by our own merits but through Jesus the Son of God. In the courtyard of the church they had the "Our Father" prayer in all different languages. They even had a few in brail! Now every time I say that prayer I can be transported back to where it was given to us. 

    We then took a walk to a Jewish cemetery that was on the Mount of Olives. From there you could see the city of Jerusalem and the golden dome of the mosque that was built on the temple mount. The temple mount was the foundation of the temple, which was the center point of Jewish worship. In the holiest of holies sat the Arc of the Covenant. The Jews believe that when the Messiah comes he will erect the new temple on the temple mount. Those that are buried closest will be able to enter into the new Jerusalem first. One of the past Muslim rulers sealed the gates to the temple mount and actually buried Muslims outside the city walls in order to stop the coming of the Messiah. As Catholics we believe that Jesus was the Jewish Messiah. We believe that He will come again in glory and I know there is nothing we can do to stop Him. 

    Next we continued our walk to a church where Jesus wept over Jerusalem (Lk 19:41-44). From this vantage point you could see every point of the passion. Jesus knew what kind of suffering and death He would face.  He also knew the hearts of all mankind. He chose to still die for us, even though He saw every horrible thing past, present and future. That is how much He loves us. He willingly laid down His life for both those who love Him and hate Him. On the altar there was a cross that if you looked at it straight on, it sat on the top of Calvary. 

Our last stop before lunch was the Garden of Gethsemane. It is where the first drops of blood of the passion were spilled. Jesus came here after the Last Supper and prayed (Mt 26:36-46; Lk 22:39-46) He was in such sorrow that he seated blood. This is an actual medical condition called hematidrosis which is quite rare but has been documented in extreme cases of mental anguish. Being a nerd and a nurse I read a book called What Christ Suffered by Thomas McGovern. It is an account of the Passion through a doctor's medical standpoint. I highly recommend. It made the suffering of Christ all the more tangible for me.  Prior to entering our guide gave us an insight I didn't think of before. Jesus took all of the sins of humanity on His shoulders and had to present them to God the Father. He took the ultimate consequence of our sins which was death so that we may not suffer eternal damnation. We still have to answer for our sins at the end of our life but we will not pay the ultimate price because He already did it for us. I asked God to burden me with the weight of my sins so that in the moment I would be more connected to Christ. I wish I could tell you what the inside of the church looked like but when I walked through the doors a weight that made it hard to lift my head was put on my shoulders. In the center of the church there was bedrock exposed from the time of Jesus. We sat around this bedrock for mass. Throughout mass I took the weight of my sins upon my shoulders. During the offertory Jesus slowly asked for me to offer them back to Him. During the consecration I saw them on His shoulders and He was sacrificed with them there. The minimal light in the church reflected off the chalice containing His blood, a perfect cross. After receiving the Eucharist I wept. I wept because He paid the ultimate price for me, but chooses to make me one with Him through the Eucharist. How gifted are we that partake at mass? The communion hymn talked about a remnant generation that will rise and walk in the light. I looked around and saw my generation filled with the love of God and ready to bring it to the world. I don't meet many young adult Catholics but these people prove to me that I am not alone. I wonder if my generation will see the overturning of Roe v Wade. I pray that we do. As we were walking out, the youngest of our group had fallen asleep and his dad carried him out in his arms. That's how I imagine God the Father carrying His Son away from the cross.  After that mass I didn't know how to feel because I had experienced the whole passion in a completely different way in less than an hour. Our day had to keep moving though, so we walked around the garden containing 8 olive trees that were over 2000 years old. Those living trees had experienced Jesus in the flesh! We experienced another beautiful lunch, overlooking the city of Jerusalem before heading in the gates. 

    Our first stop in the Old City of Jerusalem was the Upper Room. Here the Last Supper took place and Jesus instituted the Eucharist(Lk 22:14-23; Mt 26: 26-29; Mk 14:22-25). Protestant denominations deny the true presence of Jesus in the Eucharist while Catholics take Him at His word. Over the past two years I have read theological texts that prove that when Jesus said "Do this in remembrance of me" He meant to be taken literally not figuratively. It breaks my heart to see people who love Jesus, including Catholics, that don't believe that the Eucharist is Him! I pray for everyone, especially whom I love, will open their hearts and hear His words and receive Him in full communion. There is no greater tangible gift on this Earth that even compares to the Body of Christ, present in the Eucharist. The room was situated over a memorial tomb for King David, so Jewish leaders held the right to the property. Sadly this holy place couldn't even have an altar where we could participate once again in the Supper of the Lamb. People of different faith walked through loudly with no respect for us who believe. I hate to say it but the lack of reverence took away from the awe of what happened in that place. I closed my eyes and sat in prayer at the table with Jesus and the apostles. I wish i could have been there and seen the apostles when Jesus gave them the bread and wine after blessing it. They knew what He truly meant and I wonder how it made them feel. I could contemplate on that thought alone but alas we had another stop to get to. 

    The final stop of the day was the Church of St Peter in Gallicantu. This was where after being arrested in the garden of Gethsemane, Jesus was tried by the high priests and found guilty of blasphemy (Mt 26:57-68; Mk 14:53-65; Lk 22:66-71; Jn 18: 19-24) After finding Him guilty they beat him and then lowered him down into a water cistern. They did not put Him in the normal cells because they were afraid of riots or escape. This cistern typically contained over 3 ft of water so if He sat down He would drown. I took off my shoes when we reached the bottom of the cistern. The floor was uneven and sharp at places. The strength that it took to keep His body propped up after a beating and in cold water was unbelievable. Stepping into places like this shows me how strong Jesus was physically and spiritually to be able to handle the Passion. The more I know Him the more I love Him. In the courtyard outside of the Sanhedrin Peter denied Jesus three times (Mt 26:69-75; Mk 14:66-72; Lk 22:54-62; Jn 18:15-18, 25-27) He knew that if he was with Jesus, death was a strong possibility and he feared it. After being forgiven he went on to actually face death rather than deny Jesus. We all deny Jesus one way or another. I pray that if I have to deny Jesus or face death, I would have the courage to follow in His footsteps and embrace death knowing that I would have life everlasting. 

   Our day concluded around 430pm and we headed back to a new hotel in Jerusalem. When we arrived Sarah gave Jason her phone and told him to read it. He got on the speaker and said "I have some news. *insert dramatic pause* Roe v Wade has been overturned!" Cheers were heard throughout the bus and tears flowed freely from everyone's face. I looked at others on the bus and I couldn't believe it. I was surrounded by others who were rejoicing. We know this is not the end of the battle but it was a major victory worth rejoicing. We decided to hit the streets to celebrate! No one cared that we had a 5am bus departure, because history was made. We went to a place called First station with little shops and bars lining a boardwalk. It was Shabbat so not everything was open but we didn't care. We got a bottle of wine and cheers to No More Roe! We danced in the streets and we drew quite a crowd. No one knew what we were celebrating but they saw the joy and wanted to be part of it. We even had a gypsy couple dancing with us. I could not have imagined a better way to hear that history was made and to celebrate life. I am a part of the Pro Life Generation. I can't wait to be asked the question "Where were you when Roe v Wade was overturned?". I was literally in the Promise Land.