Holy Lands Pilgrimage: On the shores of Galilee
Today I started my pilgrimage to the Holy Lands. It is lead by Jason Evert, a huge Catholic chastity speaker and Fr Augustino Torres, a Franciscan friar who is also a popular Catholic speaker. I have been listening to Jason's podcast Lust is Boring for the better part of the last two years. It really changed the way I not only saw myself but also opened my eyes to the true beauty of chastity and womanhood. If you need a new podcast, I highly recommend it. Now back to the pilgrimage.
It has been a journey to get to the point of actually starting the pilgrimage but I have made it. I know that the struggle will all be worth it. Surprisingly I am not bouncing out of my shoes with excitement. I feel at peace, like I am going home. My mom jokes that I am going to come back with the calling to be a nun, but I know that's not what He has planned for me. God has a sense of humor though because my first flight had a group of nuns. I pray that its His humor and not a sign for what is to come.
The travel started off quite smooth until I started the security process for Israel. I met a girl, Jordan, who was on her way and she prepared me for what the process was. I am thankful for her because we went through interrogation before even reaching the physical security checkpoint. Next time I know to keep my answers simple. I told them about travel nursing and apparently that made me look suspicious. After going through physical security, I heard my name over the loudspeaker asking me to go to the departure gate. There, they went through my carry-on and then asked me more questions. They asked if I had any friends in the middle east (prior to security I said “no”), and I said “No… wait I do, Jesus”. Thankfully the guard laughed and I knew God was cracking up with that answer. My mother on the other hand now is worried that I’m on a watch list and will not make it home. After proving where I worked and who I was going with, security finally let me on the plane. I was seated in the back with people from my group, including my roommate Claire. I also met Fr. Augustino Torres and we became fast friends when he saw my taco neck pillow. Before I went to sleep I said a prayer of thanksgiving for getting me this far but also for all the blessings that will be endowed on me on this trip.
June 19
We arrived! Wow, I cannot believe I am finally here. It’s one thing to dream of this and another to be here. God was welcoming home. I believe that you can’t truly know someone until you’ve been to their home. I know it is not the same time, but it is still the same land that shaped Jesus. We met our bus driver, Akrum, and tour guide, Hani, and his sidekick (trainee) George. Hani is a 33yr old Nazareen so it is quite fitting that he would be showing us around. The group consists of a few families, an older couple and many young people (mostly females). I am surrounded by peers which helps me feel less alone in my faith. On our way to the hotel on the Sea of Galilee, we prayed the rosary. I cannot believe the mysteries happened HERE! All those stories that I learned growing up, happened HERE. Salvation was achieved HERE. I am humbled to be called on this pilgrimage.
When we arrived at our hotel, I was floored. The Sea of Galilee was what we would classify as a lake. The ancient Hebrews did not have that word in their vocabulary so they called it by what they knew. The hotel was on the shores and there was an area where you could wade in and then swim. There wasn't a lifeguard on duty so the sign said no swimming. Later we were talking to someone who had been there and they said there wasn't a lifeguard most of the time so we needed to swim at our own risk. Well that will be the first thing I do in the morning! Dinner was a buffet of all this different Mediterranean food. I tried to put a bit of everything on my plate, but I didn't even come close. The food was delicious though!
We ended the day with our first mass in the Holy Lands! The mass kit did not have hosts for the consecration so Father and Jason went down to the kitchen and a Jewish cook gave him some unleavened bread. It was amazing to be able to celebrate mass and receive Jesus physically while here in the place where He lived.
June 20
Today was the first full day in the Holy Lands! I couldn't sleep, so 0300 am was my wake up time. No one was awake so it was just me and God. I was able to see the stars and then the first light over the Sea of Galilee. I reflected on what the apostles would have felt when they saw the light after a long night of fishing. Sometimes there was joy but also after a hard night there would have been dread. Most days I look forward to the sunrise because God has blessed me with another day. There have been times in my life where I didn't want the sun to rise. The loss of yesterday was hard to bear and the coming of tomorrow just filled me with dread. No matter what, I know that Jesus was there. He was holding me close in both my joy and despair. Today I welcomed the sunrise with open arms. The sunrise I beheld would have been similar to that in His day. There weren't developments across the sea so I could imagine Jesus waiting for His disciples on this exact seashore, knowing the plan He had for them.
As the sun started to reach the horizon more people showed up for a morning swim. I was blessed to be able to share moments with God alone but then welcome the new day with others who loved Him. One of the other women, Holly, feels the same about the water, so I think we will be seeing each other every morning for a swim. We prayed the liturgy of the hours outside before breakfast and then ate together. Again, the food was delicious! I was able to have all kinds of fruit with honey that came straight from a bee comb. When I get excited about eating, I do a little dance and I was definitely judged for it. I couldn’t help it! The joy for the day was overflowing.
My roommate, Claire, and I are both front of the bus kind of people. We would be sitting in the same spot for the rest of the trip because we had to put our earpieces or whispers in our seats prior to leaving for the day. The first time Hani told us to put our whispers in David made a whispering sound. This caught on quite quickly so for the rest of the trip anytime "whisper' would be said, the noise was made. It was a little thing but it always brought a smile to my face. There was so much history on our way to this northern point in Israel. I tried to write everything down, but it was no use. This history was too deep and rich. We were able to see the borders of Lebanon and Syria, and the LANDMINES that separated us. There were signs all over that warned of the landmines that were buried in the hills. Thankfully Akrum had been driving the bus for 27 years so he got us there safe and sound.
When Jesus came to the region of Caesarea Philippi, he asked his disciples, “Who do people say the Son of Man is?” They replied, “Some say John the Baptist; others say Elijah; and still others, Jeremiah or one of the prophets.” “But what about you?” he asked. “Who do you say I am?” Simon Peter answered, “You are the Messiah, the Son of the living God.”Jesus replied, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for this was not revealed to you by flesh and blood, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter,and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.” Then he ordered his disciples not to tell anyone that he was the Messiah.
(Mt 16:13-20)
If I try to put every Scripture passage in, I may end up with a novel so I will just reference from now on. That passage was the first in the Holy Lands and it gave me a new way to experience scripture. Through this pilgrimage I will not only hear the stories but be in the places. How blessed am I!? This particular passage can be quite controversial because it gives Peter the authority over the Church and thus through apostolic succession the authority of the Catholic papacy. Learning the history and meaning derived from the original texts of the Bible, I don’t understand how people could take it any other way. Through time powerhouse civilizations have come and gone but the Church still stands. Peter was not perfect, nor were any of the subsequent leaders, but here we are. It humbles me to know that I am a part of the Catholic Church that was started on this rock so many years before.
The next stop was the town of Magdala. We know that Jesus drove out 7 demons from a woman named Mary here (Luke 8:12). In 2009 while excavating for a retreat center they found the foundation of not only a synagogue but bathing pools and streets that dated to the time of Jesus. Jesus used THIS synagogue to teach Torah. He walked THESE literal streets. It was a gift to know that He called me here by name, so that I could walk in His footsteps. On the property a church was built with the main altar made in the shape of a boat. There are four side chapels, all with beautiful mosaic pieces. The one that touched me the most depicted Jesus reaching out His hand to Peter as Peter was drowning in the sea. I was able to put my hand on Peter’s and see Jesus looking down to pick me up. There are many times I ask God with full faith to call me to do something great. I start to follow Him and then get scared of the enormousness of the task I asked for. This time I pray that when He calls me out on the water, I will be able to keep my eyes solely on Him and know that He doesn’t call the qualified, He qualifies the called. In the center of the chapels and main church there are pillars that have women of faith’s names engraved on them. These pillars honor the women that have kept the Church alive and passed it on through generations. There is one without a name, and they invited us women to trace our names. I traced not only my name but the women who have impacted my faith the most. I wouldn’t know God if it was not for my mother and grandmother. I even pressed the rosary which my grandmother made for my first communion upon the tile, giving thanks to my ultimate mother, Mary, for all she has done.
We made our way to the basement of the church which was shaped in the form of a synagogue. At the front there was a picture of the hand of a woman reaching out and touching Jesus’s cloak while simultaneously being healed (Luke 8:43-48). Her unwavering faith forced God to act. This isn’t saying that we are more powerful than God but we should not limit His power in the seemingly impossible. I’ve seen miracles my mind cannot comprehend so I will ask with full faith for my “impossibles” knowing that it is within His power to grant me everything I ask for. His answer may be “no” but that is because He has something else planned. Here, in full faith we prayed for healing, not only for our own circumstances but also for others.
The final stop of the day was Mount Tabor, where the Transfiguration took place (Mt 17: 1-8). Tabor in Hebrew means “navel” and therefore the place where the heavens are connected to the Earth. This is a fitting description for the place where Jesus revealed His dual nature of humanity and divinity to Peter, James and John. During mass on this mountain Jesus revealed His divinity to us pilgrims by transforming the bread and wine into His body and blood. I may not have seen the heavens open up and hear God say “listen to Him”, like the apostles, but I was there listening and physically experiencing Him through the Eucharist. Ahhh it gives me shivers to think about. Another beautiful thing about the mountain, other than the view, was the rehab center that was run by Franciscans prior to Covid. How beautiful would it be to fully transform your life where Jesus revealed His true self? Just Crazy to think about. As we were walking out, Claire asked if I wanted a video or picture walking down the grove of trees. Of course I said yes! Unbeknownst to her the way the light hit the camera formed a rainbow between my hands. I constantly look and ask for rainbows from God. A rainbow originally was a visible sign of God’s covenant and love for His people but has been distorted in recent times. I’m taking His rainbow back because only His love is true love. I pray for more rainbows during this trip, no matter what form, because this is where the immensity of His love was poured out over the Earth.
Father Augustino also gave us something to think about while coming down from the mountain. The apostles experienced a great time of consolation while on top of the mountain but then after coming down they could not expel a demon from a child, so they experienced extreme desolation. Father wanted us not to let the devil in after experiencing something so moving at the top of the mountain. I knew that the devil would try to get me while making the journey down the mountain. Years ago my family and I almost died, because we lost the brakes while driving down the Tetons mountain range. Thankfully by the grace of God we were saved. Now going up and down mountains are somewhat of a trigger for me. The roads were narrow going down Mt. Tabor and the drivers were whipping around the corners because they had done it so many times. My fear and desolation could have presented itself instantaneously while going down that mountain but I kept my eyes on the Lord and I had no fear. He changed the fear into joy and awe. I was able to look over the valley and appreciate the beauty of a bird’s eye view. What a blessing it was. What a blessing the whole day has been. I cannot wait to see what He has in store for us tomorrow.
synagogue Magdala
June 21
Another early morning and sunrise swim in the Sea of Galilee. I am once again in awe of the place where Jesus called home. God gives me these moments alone with Him, to ground me before the start of the day. I’ve learned over the past year that my day is so much more productive if I give it to Him first and then to myself second. As a nurse my day is for my patients so being able to take that selfish time in the morning for God and myself alone, puts me on the right path. Extending this practice as part of my pilgrimage will help me hear His voice, even in the midst of the chaos and activities of the day. After a while by myself, others filtered in. Holly of course was the first to join and we discussed what a blessing it was to be where we were. I’ve experienced more visually spectacular sunrises but they pale in comparison to the simplicity of these past two days.
After prayer and breakfast we set out to board a boat that would take us out on the waters of the Sea of Galilee. It was made of cedar wood and looked like it would have come from Jesus’s time. The striking difference was that it had a motor. When we got out on the water they actually played the national anthem and hoisted up a United States flag, to hang next to Israel’s. Then Father and Jason led us through the Scripture that had taken place on the very same waters. We saw the mountain on which Jesus would pray while keeping watch on his apostles as they were fishing. We were on the sea that He calmed. We were on the sea that He called Peter to walk upon. We were on the sea where He preached the Gospel so that more could hear Him. All of that happened HERE. Around this sea was where He spent the majority of His ministry. Now He used Jason and Father to call us out to His waters. I frequently say that the water calls me and bids me to jump in. I now know that it is God calling me out into His waters, whether it be to bask in the glory of His creation or listen a little better to His voice. The quiet reflection time on the boat was magical. My Jesus clouds were present in the sky and the sun beams reflected in a straight line coming right up to our boat. I could see Him walking towards us with a smile on His face, welcoming us home. There was peace in the silence and reflection that we were all joined together in spiritually. The silence was at last broken by music which led to dancing! The crew taught us a Hebrew dance which Jesus and the apostles would have used in celebration. Radiating laughter and joy filled the boat. Even when the steps got messy, we continued to praise Him in the dance. Sadly after the conclusion of the dance we were back to shore. Before departing to the next church we were able to see a boat from Jesus’ time that was found in the sea. The intuitiveness of the archaeologists who were able to preserve it was astounding. One false move and the boat would crumble into dust. While excavating it, they had to keep it constantly moist and then protect it with a plastic sealant. Then they covered it with an expanding foam so that they could transfer it across the sea to be able to bring it to land and study it. Again, the brilliance behind the work was phenomenal.
We left sea level and traveled up the Mount of Beatitudes where Jesus gave us a guide on how to find Him (Mt 5:1-12). Fun fact, his sermon would have been in a cave at the base of the mountain not at the top. The view from the top was just a little better. We were able to celebrate mass overlooking the valley and the Sea of Galilee below. There are eight beatitudes and for the Hebrews 8 is the number of a new beginning. We are called to follow all eight but some come more naturally than others. Mercy can be a struggle for me when someone has wronged me multiple times, especially those who are closest to me. I also struggled a long time to give myself mercy. I pray for the grace to strengthen my weak points but also build my strengths.
After departing we stopped at two different churches on the shores of Galilee. The first was the five loaves and two fishes, where he multiplied the food to feed thousands (Jn 6:1-14). Like the apostles we will give the Lord what we have, even if it isn't much, and he will multiply it tenfold. The tricky part is giving it all to Him. Sometimes we hold back because we think we aren’t worthy or because if we give it all we will have nothing left for later. He will not force us to give Him everything because He gives us free will but He asks for everything, knowing the abundance of blessings He is capable of, if only we had the faith.
The second church was the Primacy of Peter. This was one of the places that Jesus appeared to his apostles post resurrection (John 21). Jesus reinstates the primacy of Peter after his threefold denial. Jesus asks Peter twice “do you love me”. The word he uses here for love is agape. This form of love is the unselfish all giving love that God has for us. Peter responds with the word philia which is a brotherly love. The final time Jesus asks Peter if he loves Him, He uses the term philia. Jesus meets us where we are. He wants to share the fullness of love He has for us but He will never force us to love Him back. People misconstrue what the Catholic Church teaches because we have so many “rules and regulations”. These rules simply tell us what not to do because it hurts us. Sin pulls us away from God’s full love and mercy. Like Peter we all deny Jesus in the form of sin but He waits for us to come back so that He can show us true love. He wants to give us a world full of agapic love but if we only accept the philia we will miss the greatest of loves. For a long time I didn’t accept the agapic love of God because I did not find myself worthy. I now know that its not a love you earn. It is a love that is freely given and only needs to be accepted.
Finally we took a break for lunch. We ate St. Peter's fish, which tradition holds that this was the kind of fish St. Peter caught and inside was the price of the temple tax (Mt 17:24-27). We had different options on how to eat the fish but I went with the full fish. Go big or go home! Philine even taught me how to take out the eye to eat. I will say it wasn't bad. After we were finished, Father started moving the fish mouth to make it talk. He reminds me of my Uncle Larry, with the constant puns and jokes that just make you want to roll your eyes.
The last holy site of the day was the town of Capernaum. There are many stories in the bible that take place in this town and therefore we know that the majority of His ministry was here. There was an actual millstone present and let me tell you, I do not want that tied around my neck before being thrown in the sea. It's fascinating to see the imagery that Jesus used in His preaching. His imagery is quite powerful but in modern times a lot of the beauty of the Scripture is lost because we lack the knowledge of the time. There we also saw the ruins of Peter's mother-in-law's house and of an ancient synagogue. The black stone of the synagogue dated back to Jesus's time. We had time for a little reflection so I went down to the shores of the sea. I found a tree and sat underneath contemplating if this was how Jesus would come up with His sermons. We often hear that he went up the mountain to pray but I could see him here waiting for the fishermen and figuring what He wanted to tell them over dinner. Once again I am humbled at the knowledge that He called me here to walk in His footsteps.
As we all hopped on the bus, Jason had a surprise for us. We had the ability to go tubing or on a relaxing boat ride on the Sea of Galilee that night. If Father was my Uncle Larry, than Jason is my Uncle Thaddeus: always ready for that spontaneous adventure. Even though I came alone on this trip, somehow my uncles are the ones leading it. Tubing was hilarious because many of my group had not done it before. We were flying off left and right. The second group was a little more agile and had the ability to make a pyramid while the boat was going. Laughs and smiles were present on both boat rides. As sunset drew near we took a few pontoon boats out. I was actually able to drive a boat on the Sea of Galilee! It was crazy. Not many can say they went on a religious pilgrimage to the Holy Lands and was able to do that. I was blessed to have a leader in Jason that wants to experience life at its fullness. Nothing is too big of an ask for him. Tonight is our last night on the Sea of Galilee and tomorrow we will make our way through Nazareth and to Bethlehem!
Cave of Beatitudes 
Primacy of Peter 
Capernaum synagogue
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